9-24-2021 12:28pm

Making Amends and Forgiveness

Amy Adams Editor

I go to Celebrate Recovery on Monday nights at The Avenue in Waxahachie. Celebrate Recovery is a Christ-centered recovery group that helps more than just those who are addicted to drugs and alcohol. They help people with anxiety, depression, anger, self-esteem issues, codependency, domestic violence and many other issues. The topic for this Monday was Principle 6: Evaluate all my relationships. Offer forgiveness to those who have hurt me and make amends for harm I’ve done to others, except when doing so would hurt them or others. The Bible verse that goes along with that is “Happy are the merciful. Happy are the peacemakers.” Matthew 5:7, 9. It also goes along with NA’s/AA’s Step 8: We made a list of all persons we had harmed and become willing to make amends to them all.

You have to be willing to be willing to change. Luke 6:31 says: Do to others as you would have them do to you.” Forgiveness is a process. When we make amends, we should mean it and be sincere. You have to keep in mind that recovery is a process that may take a life time to do, depending on some of the hurts and hang-ups. You have to ask yourself is there someone I need to make amends to that I hurt or is there someone I need to ask for an apology from? Pastor Alan said, “We carry around our hurts like a suitcase. We have to unpack our bag. We carry our hurts into another relationship and that one ends up toxic as the last one.”

It’s very hard to ask these questions but in order to heal and forgive someone who’s wronged you, you have to ask questions like: Who has betrayed me? Who has lied to me? Who has bullied me? Who has lied about me? Who has bullied my kids? Who’s taken advantage of you? Who has stolen money from me? Who has taken advantage of my goodness/kindness? It is by no means easy to forgive someone based on the offense and how much you love that person, especially when they continue to hurt you, but you must forgive them for yourself and unload the heavy baggage that you have been carrying around that is full of resentment, pain, and bitterness. There are people in our lives that we carry a lot of bitterness and resentment towards. When we drop those feelings, our load gets lighter,” said Pastor Alan. “We will have an opportunity to pick the bricks back up, but we shouldn’t. Some people manipulate the situation to make it look like it’s your fault when it’s not.”

Even though it’s not easy, we have the ability to let go of the crushing weight of resentment. We must give our burdens to Jesus and forgive every person who has wronged us as well as forgive ourselves for every person we have wronged. It will take time but forgiving someone will make our lives easier and less challenging upon letting go of all the bad things that have happened in our lives and continuing to let go of any new hurts or betrayals we may encounter later on in life. Keep in mind, forgiveness is not letting the people who have hurt you off the hook. Forgiveness is letting go so that their offenses no longer have a hold on you and your mental well-being. By following the acrostic below, you’re well on your way to forgiving and moving on with your life feeling lighter and less weighed down. Resentment, anger and bitterness are heavy. Forgiveness and giving all of your burdens to Christ is freeing.

AMENDS