Fear In The Storm

Waiting on God can be nerve-wracking at times. I’m currently in one of those times. Asking people for help is not something I’m used to doing. I’m usually the one helping people. I’ve never found it easy to accept generosity but have always been the first one to be overly generous and helpful. I’ve almost mastered the art of being a good giver, but God is currently teaching me how to swallow my pride and reach out for help.

I have to remember where my help comes from. Especially if I’m doing God’s will, He will provide in ways I can’t even imagine. He always has but in the process of waiting, I experience the most excruciating anxiety. “Cast all your anxiety on Him because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7. Right now, it is all I can do just to maintain and even write when I’m this anxious. I know that it’s an attack of the enemy that I lost my job and I’m low on my finances. I’ve always had a hard time depending on other people because I have just recently met people I can actually depend on. Before that, I knew people who took advantage of me and used me. Having a good church family has been a real blessing. I know now that I never belonged in the world of hanging out with drug addicts. Instead, I’ve found myself more at home around believers in God because I’m finally around people like myself who watch other people’s backs and are quick to give a helping hand when someone needs it.

“That days when evening came, he said to his disciples, ‘Let us go over to the other side.’ Leaving the crowd behind, they took him along, just as he was, in the boat. There were also other boasts with him. A furious squall came up, and the waves broke over the boat, so that it was nearly swamped. Jesus was in the stern, sleeping on a cushion. The disciples woke him up and said to him, ‘Teacher, don’t you care if we drown?’ He got up, rebuked the wind and said to the waves, ‘Quiet! Be still!’ Then the wind died down and it was completely calm. He said to the disciples, ‘Why are you so afraid? Do you still have no faith?’ They were terrified and asked each other, ‘Who is this? Even the wind and the waves obey him!’” Mark 4:35-41. This is a very powerful passage in the Bible and it reminds each of us that God is always in control and we must have faith that He will provide no matter what. The hard part is remembering that when we’re in the middle of the storm. The fear can consume and paralyze us to the point that we are no good to anyone. At least, that’s how it can be with me.

Depression is also another thing that comes with hardship. Not knowing what tomorrow will bring can be devastating when you don’t have a job and have bills piling up. Life comes with hardships and we all learn to depend on God in those times or if we don’t know God, the situation becomes even more dire and bleak. I have not had a strong relationship with God until a little over a year ago. He had been making His presence known for about a year before that. Before I knew Him, I would be so depressed and anxious that I would go months without a job and would have bouts where all I would do was sleep. I had no hope then, but I have hope now and that hope comes from my Creator. “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.” Matthew 11:28-30.